We packed his Subaru to the brim with everything he owned and began our road trip across the country. "Be present," I reminded myself. We meticulously planned every second of the trip: National Parks, glamping, Meow Wolf, and his 30th birthday in Nashville. I also planned to release the second single from my upcoming album mid-trip to stay consistent with my releases.

But when I released that single during our journey, I was a wreck. "How could I be so naive? How could I do this to myself? To the music?" Driving from LA to New York, surrounded by breathtaking scenery and deepening our love, I intentionally missed my self-imposed deadlines for filming promotional content and PR outreach in an attempt to stay present.

I had done almost nothing to support the song. The time, passion, and money I invested felt wasted. I felt embarrassed and ashamed for not advocating for the music and myself in the way I had intended to.

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